For the lessons of population and parenting, we could relate back to the previous topic, Culture. Every parenting style is also influenced by their own culture. It was also mentioned that parenting style is also influenced by their country and government. However the culture does not only refer to things practiced by religions or race.
Well, to begin, Culture is a belief or lifestyle practiced by a group of people. What i remember most was discussing about 4 different types of parenting. They are Authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. My parents brought me up with the authoritarian parenting style. But, gradually, my parents resorted to authoritative and permissive as my sister and I grow older. It is good that there is a change because I feel that children should not be too restricted in the things we do. Especially in this generation, I believe parents should not always stick to the traditional ways as there is so much to explore.
A personal experience would of course be the unorthodox upbringing styles of my parents. My aunties are very “old-fashioned” people. As typical chinese parents, my parents focused a lot on my academics. I’m not a studying person, I’d admit. I used to do badly or average on academics, and come home to major punishments whenever I brought back my report book and exam papers. To my parents, it was important that I excel in school. Being brought up with a really fierce father, I was very afraid of making mistakes and being a bad kid. So, I would get very involved with activities that gives my my moral values. My parents teach me as well and groom me with good values. I never appreciated them till secondary school. I was the good student in primary school, always punctual, and liked my teachers. I only noticed in secondary school that my leadership potentials has always caome from my parents, and of course those activities I took part in primary school that grooms me to be who I am. I did not do as well in my PSLE, and ended up in NA stream. T They were disappointed of course. Some of my relatives looked down on me. I’m still their daughter afterall, they accepted the fact that i’m in NA . My parents learnt to loosen the strings a little, and they trusted me, thus becoming permissive parents. My father is always there to support me and I started to do well academically in secondary school. I got character awards, progress awards and did really well in school. And here I am now in SP as a PFP student. Because my parents choose to believe in me and gave me so many chances to explore and discover myself makes me who I am today. They groomed me to be what I am. Without my father disciplining and supporting me or my mother advising and motivating me, I will not be here today.
To more old-fashioned parents, things must be done step by step. Example, to my aunties, it is madatory for their children to be in the express stream and then do well in O levels, end up in Poly or a JC and they should have a degree. This sounds like typical asian parenting right? Whereas my parents chose to trust me and support me throughout the unorthodox way. I didn’t end up in the express stream, my highest qualification so far would be N levels, and I skipped O levels. My mother once told me that she believes it isn’t necessary for me to get a degree. I agree. I totally agree with her. My parents realised within the last 4 years that it is more important to groom their child to do what they love than what they “should have been doing”. Me and my parents share great trust with each other. And I personally believe that is what all parents should have with their kids, mutual respect and trust.
In one of our AEC classes, we were discussing about our ideal parenting styles from different culture. I like that the Norwegian and Dutch parents have a common thing which is grooming their child to be excellent at what they are good at. And another parenting style from the Japanese culture would that they teach their children to be independent. An example given was that young children at the age of 11 could travel on their own through the subway. This reflects on the amount of trust they parents have with their children. I really love that parents in this generation no longer focus on just academics, but also groom their children to be better people and to be able to excel in the things tthe children love doing. This permissive parenting should be promoted.
In short, I believe that because of this unorthodox way my parents chose actually made me who I am today. Because of the discipline my dad instiled in me, and also the respect and trust my parents and I share.